Time

Today I was looking back in one of my favorite journals from 10 years ago. I read through my joyous moments, unanswered prayers (at that time) tear soaked cries to God for things I wanted fixed, relationships I wanted restored, bills I needed to pay…

My heart was wide open in that journal, my fears laid bare on the pages. Once again I can see that time is a beautiful gift, it’s just a gift that in some seasons takes a long time to unwrap. In my 20’s I talked to God a lot about my future husband, I remember the anger I felt when I thought God did not really care about responding to ‘this prayer’ all the while He was using time to set the stage for things to come. I see now my heart was not ready, my life was not in right order to become a bride in that season. And there were things God wanted me to do and places He wanted me to go in my singleness. Now I can honestly say I wish I would have used that time to enjoy the journey in a deeper way, and trust Him just a little more.

So with whatever time we have left I want to lean into Him more, trust deeper and live life with greater joy knowing that my times and seasons are for His plans.

For such a time as this we were created to live in these moments.

My single friend,

This is my encouragement to you. Cherish your time alone. Don’t hear me wrongly, being married is wonderful but there is something about singleness that is beautifully simple. Embrace the weeks, months, years that you have till God brings His perfect pick for you into your life. DON’T BE YOUR OWN MATCHMAKER! I have the scares to prove that that is not the way to find “the one”.

As the song goes, “Love the one your with”. (I know…It’s not the best song to quote when referring to God, but bear with me). In this season love Jesus with every ounce of yourself. He is worth it all and He knows the ache you feel in your heart for your spouse, after all, He put it there. If I could go back to when I was single (with the understanding I have now) I would acknowledge everyday (in a greater way) that He is our good, good Father. And the person He has picked out for me will be so worth the wait. As Aaron and I have talked to each other about our single lives we realized that we both prayed many of the same prayers, and endured many of the same heartaches to get to where we are today, and went through many of the same pruning seasons. Now on this side of marriage I can say with all honesty that all the TIME we waited to be married now does not feel like a long time at all. So simply enjoy your life right now and love The One your with.

Note: I did not get married till I was 29 and Aaron was 30. (I will write our story and the detailed list I wrote to God of what I wanted in my husband, in a later post, so stay tuned) The timing could not have been more perfect. God is faithful even when our faith is small. We have been married now for 6 years and the adventures; in marriage, church and around the world that God has taken us on would not have been possible if we had not surrendered our lives (and times) into His hands.